


Super Good Pie

by 222Ravens



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Pushing Daisies, Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergent, Crack Crossover, Crossover, F/M, M/M, Pie, WIP, With occasional angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-11 11:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/222Ravens/pseuds/222Ravens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reports of a mysteriously alive-again girl bring the Winchesters brothers and Castiel to the town of Couers de Couers. There, they run into Death, the being Crowley, a rather ineffectual anti-christ, delicious pie, a surprisingly adorable Hell Hound, and otherwise a great deal more than they bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is very much a work in progress, and probably needs a beta reader, but I'm posting this first bit now to encourage me to finally write the whole darned thing.
> 
> For the simplicity of the narrative, I reserve the right to mess around with timelines, meld characters together, ascribe differing motives and backstories to characters, gently fracture both canon and mythology, and otherwise be free and wibbly with plotting. 
> 
> Takes place a number of years after the events of Good Omens, and canon divergent after the first minute or two of Hunteri Heroici for Supernatural, and roughly after The Legend of Merle McQuoddy for Pushign Daisies. 
> 
> For the purposes of timeline simplicity, it takes place on the same day as the air date for Hunteri Heroici.
> 
> I have no regrets for any of this.

 

_The facts were these._

 

In the years that Dean and Sam Winchester had lived, they had become very acquainted with the concept of being, as the saying goes, “alive again.”

 

Unfortunately, in this instance, the precise number of days, hours, and minutes old they are were will _not_ be mentioned. Given multiple resurrections, time spent in other planes of existence in which the flow of time is not compatible with the system used on Earth, time loops as a result of running afoul of an archangel with a grudge, and various sundry other complications… The calculation is simply too cumbersome to bother with.  1

 

Sorry.

 

Castiel, of course, was a bonafide Angel of the Lord. As a result, he was considerably older than either Winchester. 

 

The true facts of _his_ age will also not be divulged. 

 

Considering there is the possibility that he came into existence at approximately the same time as the beginning of the universe, or at least at the time the Earth came into being… The definitive answer to _that_ particular question would send every advanced physicist, astronomer, and theologian in the world into an apoplectic frenzy, and it’s best to be avoided.2

 

Once again, suffice to say that he was old. 

 

Castiel had personally experienced the phenomenon fewer times than either Winchester. However, he _had_ been present at more than enough instances of it to consider himself what could reasonably be named an expert on the subject. (Lazarus was an especially interesting case, but there had been others.)

 

Given this, if someone were to ask them if they would be altogether prepared when presented with a case that involved such elements? They would be fully prepared to answer with an unequivocal “Yes.”

 

 

They would be quite wrong.

 

 

1  Let’s just call it ’a period of time longer than their physique might suggest', and be done with it.

2  The whole 9:15 am on the 21st of October, 4004 BCE business was complete rubbish, by the way. Fish take far longer than that to evolve into people.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been rather slow about updating this. I'm also still quite without a beta reader, so apologies for any terribleness present within. I'll be better in the future, promise.

_The facts were these._

 

At time this story begins, the three were standing around having recently hung up on a telephone conversation with one Linda Tran.

 

It’s wise to avoid even _thinking_ about asking for her precise age. 

 

Sam was filling the gas tank of the black 1967 Chevrolet Impala1. Dean Winchester, however, was busy interrogating Castiel on his future endeavours. “So what, move to Vermont, open up a charming B ’n B?”.

 

Dean is sadly unaware of the subtextual humour to be found in this suggestion; Vermont being the first first state in the United States to legalize same-sex marriage through legislative means rather than litigation. But then, it’s widely believed that God has a relatively terrible sense of humour, so perhaps it can be attributed to that.

 

“No. I still want… I still need to help to help people, so… I’m gonna become a hunter.” Cas smiled proudly, also ignorant of this subtext. He is also ignorant of the proper way of folding a fitted sheet, which is an important skill for any future B ’n B owner, so perhaps it is for the best.2

 

Sam scoffs slightly at this anyway, asking “Really?”, while Dean simply stares. Castiel is accustomed to such staring, so he ignores it.

 

“Yeah. I could become your third wheel.” Cas suggests, smiling again.

 

Dean, however, is rather far from convinced, and Sam, once again, snickers in the background. “You know that’s not a good thing, right?”

 

Cas refuses to be swayed, arguing “Of course it is. A third wheel adds extra grip, greater stability.” It is an fair point, demonstrating another example of  distinct failure of the English language to make _any_ kind of sense. Ever.

 

“I even found a case. Oklahoma City, a man’s heart jumped ten feet out of his chest. Sounds like our kind of thing, right?”

 

At this particular time, Sam and Dean are about to agree to the suggestion of the case. They will argue with Cas about whether he should ride with them. Then, they would have proceeded to Oklahoma City. Dean will sing along very badly to a tape of _the Best of Queen_ during the drive. Cas will sit awkwardly in the back seat. Sam will sleep.

 

It would have been a very interesting case. However, they will never know precisely how interesting, because at that _particular_ moment, for reasons unknown beyond the vagaries of Fate 3, something different happened instead.

 

That ‘something’ was the ringing of Sam’s cell. He holds out a hand, stopping Cas from speaking more. “Hold up. Hello? Garth. Hi.” 

 

There’s a long pause, during which Dean distracts himself by making various sarcastic faces in the car mirror.

 

“You have a case for us? Uh, great, but we actually kinda just found one in Oklahoma City, so we’re... Oh. You’ve already got somebody on that?”

 

Cas’ face falls, and Dean straightens up to pats his shoulder, a hand lingering there longer than strictly necessarily. Purely by accident. Of course. _Honest._  

 

“Good spotting anyway.”

 

“Okay, I’ll check my email.” 

 

1 According to the assembled works of Carver Edlund, otherwise known as the _Relatively Nice And Also Accurate But Honestly Quite Terribly Written Prophecies of Chuck Shurley, Writer_ The Impala was 45 years, 28 weeks, 3 days, 16 hours, 50 minutes, and 8 seconds old. Ooh, look, an exact age was given. 

2 Fitted sheets were one of the better small evils conceived by one particular demon, whose presence may or may not have bearing upon the narrative. But that would be telling.

3 In the more general sense. Not the Sisters of Fate, capitalized, who were currently occupied interfering with the state of affairs primarily in the nations of Lithuania and Peru. Not everything happens in America.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dubiousculturalartifact on tumblr, if you want to look for me.


End file.
